Mystery Science Rain: 3000

Ok before I even get started on this, let me lay out how this works.


This idea is straight from Mystery Science Theatre, 3000 (thus the title. Clever, no?)


For those of you who have never sat down and watched an episode (or are too young to know what this even was ... and by the way I hate you greatly for showing me how old I am ... stupid teenagers >_>) let me explain.


I am going to write a chibi.


My IRL Brother who plays Rain is going to have his little captions added here and there to give Rain's thoughts on whatevers happening.


*Rain walkes into the room and takes a seat: "Lets get this going, First off I would like to go ahead and state our apologies for this." Stands up and slaps writer in the head. "Lets get this going little brother."


Thats it.


Thats how this plays.


Let the fun begin!!!!


*"Rain Hates Fun"*


(Rain Lorean - a Blue haired moon elf ghostwalker on the hunt for a greater threat then Misery or even The Reaper himself .... no he's after the greatest evil the world has ever known ... but left unchecked. The Easter Bunny)


*"Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey. Lets not bring our last name into this crapfest. I dont go off on tangents of Misery's last name. psstt its Tool."*


Rain: Are you sure about this? Because we are beginning to think this might be a bit far fetched.


(Nymneth, AKA Nym - A Chaos Genasi who's hair and eye color changes a lot. She's a wild mage sorceress who dresses in a patchwork witches outfit)


*"The writer is being flattering in the previous reply, in truth it should read as follow. Nymneth, AKA Nym, AKA Crazy psycho lady who makes me do what she says cause she holds kittens hostage. Save the kittens :3."*


Nym: I'm telling you, the Easter Bunny is EVIL!!!!!!!


*"See and you didnt believe me about the crazy part didja, I mean what kinda sane person actually hunts the Easterbunny? He gives us candy. CANDY, that I dont have to buy. Than again he does also give jellybeans. Ok its more of a toss-up but Id say he was neutral at worse here."*


Rain: We would like some foundation for this claim.


Nym: (a crazed look in her eye) He seeks to devour all children!!!


Rain: ... well I must say thats at least quasi-evil.


Nym: O_O


Rain: ....


Nym: O_O


"*At this moment in production the Nym we were using snapped and ended up killing oh Id say half of the crew. Good news is Rain came out unscathed >_<"*


Rain: ... and you're quasi-nuts >_>


Nym: O_O


Rain: ... why do I attract the crazies? Why do I fall for such a woman?


(Last Night)


Nym: Thats right, you're my little bi***!!! (Nym has Rain tied to a well, beating him with her broom in an overly slutty witch outfit)


*"We think the writer meant wall on this one, but it could also be that he is a sick sick individual who has Timmy and Lassie on the mind. But Rain is not one to judge he supposes."*


(The here and now)


Rain: ... oh yea ... thats right. Rain has a bit of freak in him ^_^


Nym: O_O


Rain: ... damn you're creepy >_>


"And there went the rest of the crew, Now Rain must do it all. We felt that the upcomming scene needed more oomph and dramatic camera angles to better portay the depth and soul of that which is Rain and the complexity of his relationship and hardship. However we soon found out I have NO idea how to work this stuff. O_O, I found a pinky..."*


(Following along a trail, they come to a village. In this village, children and dancing happily with baskets full of candy)


Kids: (singing) The easter bunny came! The easter bunny came! Tra la, la la, the easter bunny came!


Rain: (looking to Nymneth) ... yes, this truly is the work of a devil >_> What foul beast could cause such horridness in these poor defenseless children.


Nym: ... are you being sarcastic?


Rain: ... dripping with it.


Nym: You know, I don't have to take this!!! Look at their faces!! Its clear they have been BRAIN WASHED by this foul demon rabit. Look closer!!! CLOSER!!!!!!!!!


*"Rain is looking closely at something but I dont think it was the little kids... MMMMM Candy."*


Rain: (looks closer) ... hmmmm ... perhaps your right.


Nym: Really?


Rain: No.


Nym: >_>


Rain: Listen, we both know your crazy, right?


Nym: ... I prefer emotionally unstable ^_^


Rain: ... how about fu**ing nuts?


Nym: >_>


Rain: ... anyway, maybe you're looking too deeply into this.


Nym: NO!! NO!!!!!!! He is a DEMON!! And if you don't help me, I'll stop him myself!!!!!!!!!!!!


Rain: (Inner Rain) .... what Rain will do for the smex *sighs*


*" Rain does not call it smex, that is for foul disgusting drow. Rain prefers Snoo-snoo."*


Rain: ... fine. Rain will help.


Nym: YIPPEE!!!! (She grabs Rain and runs off, following the Easter Bunny's tracks)


(Next Town)


Kids: (singing) The easter bunny came! The easter bunny came! Tra la, la la, the easter bunny came!


Rain: ... Rain hopes they can manage to overcome the trama and emotional scars they have recieved here this day >_>


Nym: ... do you think your funny?


Rain: Moving on ...


(Next town)


Kids: (singing) The easter bunny came! The easter bunny came! Tra la, la la, the easter bunny came!


(next Town)


*"If you pay close attention in fact the writer used the exact same backdrop for each town and even the same children I mean come on, a bit of originality is all we ask. but what can one expect from someone who names his characters after words in the dictionary, I mean come on Myth, Exile, Misery. Rain would never be that simplistic..."*


Kids: (singing) The easter bunny came! The easter bunny came! Tra la, la la, the easter bunny came!


(Next Town)


Kids: (singing) The easter bunny came! The easter bunny came! Tra la, la la, the easter bunny came! He ate our friends, he ate our souls, he drilled our parents skulls with holes!!


(Next Town)


Rain: Wait a minute ...


(Back to previous town)


Nym: O_O


Rain: O_O


(They both look around to the town that is burnt down, zombies infesting the place now with the Easter Bunny in the center of town laughing maniacly)


*"YAY Zombies, Rain has found his home. Smears some blood on his chain shirt, and shuffle around. b-RAINs. b-RAINs, More b-RAINs in chibis."*


Nym: SEE!!! I told you!!!


Rain: ... maybe he is just hyper from all the chocolate?


(The Easter Bunny eats a person)


Rain: ... maybe it settles his stomach.


Nym: Yes, a bad case of upset stomach after devouring a city of souls. That does happen >_>


Rain: Good, so we agree ^_^


Nym: You just dont want to admit you were wrong.


Rain: Rain is never wrong. Rain is just ahead of his time.


*"At last the writer has come to realize the truth of Rain. Soon this knowledge will spread like the Zombie apocalypse."*


Nym: I don't think that excuse applies here.


Rain: All of Rain's excuses apply at all times.


Easter Bunny: hehehehehehe more souls to devour. How pleasant!!!


Nym: I will destroy you for devouring my little brother's soul when we were children, foul beast!!!


Rain: ... I though you were an only child.


Nym: ... well ... I was ... but if I had a little brother, he would have been all over it!!


*" O_o Crazy lady. all she would need is an army of kittens and Rain would be in heaven."*


Easter Bunny: (Pulling out some easter eggs, he starts throwing them at Rain and Nym, the eggs exploding like grenades) Hope you like your eggs SCRAMBLED!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA


*" Please tell me that joke was just in our head and it wasnt actually written on paper..." Looks up. "Nope there it is. Rain Quits he cant work like this." Walks out of the room.*


(Rain gets hit by an egg and thrown through a wall into a house from the force)


Nym: RAIN! You shall pay! I call upon my wild magic to deal with you!!! (she casts a spell that turns all the zombies in town into cute little bunnies)


Easter Bunny: .... O_o???


Nym: ... that was supposed to turn them into blood seeking badgers ... stupid wild magic >_<


(In the house with Rain)


(Rain hears a voice in his head, the voice of his sister. )


*gets drug back in, "No, no you cant make me finish this catastrophe." Looks at the screen. "hey its our sister, I thought she was dead. Note to self make sure no way to bring her back, Name to important for family to be breathing."*


Sister: Hello brother.


Rain: Sister?


Sister: Yes brother. I have come here to help you remember.


Rain: Remember what?


Sister: Back when we were children, brother. When the easter bunny left you candy. There was bad chocolate. Do you remember?


Rain: ... yes .... yes actually I do. It almost ... O_O


Sister: ... yes brother. It almost killed you ....


Rain: ... thank you sister.


Sister: You are welcome, brother.


Rain: Oh, by the way. How's mom?


Sister: Meh, she's being a little floozy in the heavens. She and dad split up.


*"Maybe thats why Rain is so bent on revenge, My family enviroment wasnt exactly stable. WEEEEE" tosses a fire into an orphanage. Glances back at the audience. "Oh right you guys are still here... Umm hands the torch to one of the fluffy bunnies. "He did it, dont worry I'll avenge the orphanage." *Censored*


Rain: Your kidding!


Sister: Yea, it all started with the milkman.


Rain: Dad should have been suspicious since none of us drank milk.


*Why does the Milkman get more action that Rain. He delivers milk, Rain delivers prettyness. I just dont understand whyyyyyy?" overdramatic raining scene followed by screaming at the heavens.*


Sister: Indeed. Anyway, you should totally wake up. Your crazy girlfriend is getting her ass in trouble again.


Rain: She use her wild magic again?


Sister: ... yes T_T


Rain: ... *sighs* alright alright.


*"One time I was turned into a kitten by her wild magic... It was the happiest moment of my life. I Was all like Mew and purr and scratch your eyes out."*


(Rain wakes up)


Rain: ... let the bodies hit the floor.


(Rain leaps from the house and charges the Easter Bunny)


Rain: PAINFUL RECKONING!!!!!


Easter Bunny: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Rain strikes the Easter Bunny, causing him to blow up in an explosion of fluff)


*"So the Easterbunny was made of fluff and blood? Intriguing."*


Rain: ... hop your way to the morgue, beyatch. Damn Rain is good.


Nym: Hey, I helped!!


Rain: (looking around at all the happy bunnies, flowers, and nice soft grass) ... yea ... I see that.


(back on the road)


Rain: So how did you know the Easter Bunny was evil?


Nym: I didn't ... but it sure sounded good didn't it? ^_^


Rain: ... O_O


Nym: Come on!! I hear Arbor Day Man is a vile servant of Orcus!!! (she skips off happily)


Rain: ... (pulls out a piece of paper) ... Rain supposes its never too early to start a WILL ... T_T


*Rain's WILL - I leave all things in my possesion to the Kittens, and let it be known Rain wishes to be burried in all his gear, no cremation no leaving us in the gutter, We want our body to be perfect when we come back as the Zombie who eats you all.*